My World Just Got Smaller

 

I've had many blessings in my sissy life. I've had the amazing good fortune to have experienced things beyond my wildest dreams, met and submitted before Iconic Dominant Women, and have slowly and carefully cultivated a special inner circle of Dommes and other Women, where I've been able to allow Devina to find her feet and have a place where she has been able to grow and be nourished. But in life, as I'm fully aware, not all things last forever, and I was reminded of that today, as I was forced to say goodbye to someone who was so very special to me, in ways that are difficult to put into proper words, but I will try.

 

As any sissy knows, living an alternative lifestyle can come with a price, and often it is very high in terms of our private and personal lives and how we are able to interact with others outside that world. My friend ( I will still call Her friend, even if She may no longer) in the past few years, has paid a heavy price personally and as a result has completely removed Herself from Her truly Iconic perch in the BDSM world; perhaps permanently I believe. And as a result, She has removed a lot of people from Her life moving forward, and sadly I was one.

In many ways I could see this day coming for quite some time. It hurts when you can feel someone growing more distant, and not being able to figure out why, and afraid if you ask, it will only speed the process up. I will not go into the who, the what, the why, etc except to say, sometimes life deals us cards that shake us to our very soul and beyond. In dealing with such trauma, one can discover that the identity of who they have been has been so drastically altered, that one cannot continue as such anymore, to risk becoming a parody of one's self. I know this feeling after dealing with significant loss in my family, where Devina was just an abstract concept that at times I still struggle with.

I can understand when the things you once loved, enjoyed, and inspired, now bring disdain and you need to change. I wish I was able to have this conversation with Her but I likely never will now. I was very blessed to have an opportunity to get to know the person behind the mask, and that person was a lovely soul, and it upset me greatly to discover the trauma that She was confronted with. I would wish that on no Woman. I am grateful to have been able to offer words of comfort, advice and just be someone to listen a bit. The distance between Her and I was great, but it was very easy to send whatever warm energy I possessed to the universe in hopes of finding Her. It's a hopeless thing at times to know someone you genuinely care about as a person, is in a great deal of pain and distress, and not being able to do anything of consequence to take that suffering away. It is my sincere hope that She finds the healing She seeks.

 My inner circle of Women I trusted with my most guarded secrets as Devina and the original packaging she came in, had only 5 members. She is a rare soul that had the ability to relate and understand me on all sides, and I can't say how hard it has been to find any Women who can openly embrace the whole package without judgment. It's very sad to be forced to accept that my special circle has shrunk to 4. I hold a small amount of hope that our orbits may intersect once again in the future, but that will not be for me to decide. J.R you were a blessing to my life and I will miss you

Love Always

Devina 

Happy Chastember!

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Day 3344 in Sissy Chastity & The Joys of Staying Soft

 

I like the fact that today is just a random number in my permanent sissy chastity journey. Day 3344 does have a nice ring to it however. What's on my mind this morning is the joy a sissy experiences only after years of chastity training, when they revel in the permanent changes on one's body, and by that I mean that we begin to stay soft almost all the time. This includes when being turned on.

I know all of us can go back to our beginning panty boi days when merely fondling a pair of Woman's panties would induce the most raging hardon's of our lives, and that connection was intense. Many stay with that kink portion of our journey, where the clothes of a Woman equate a powerful kink. 

 But there is a magical world beyond just the kink, and one only finds that world when a Woman opens the door to it. That means we have to reveal our true selves to a Woman, either by choice or by accident, but only a Woman can allow you in

 But once you have been allowed in, an entire world of choices becomes yours should you wish to pursue them. You can stay a playing panty boi, dabbling in using Feminization to serve your still male ego dominated kinks, because that is the easy route, and many choose easy.

But the world of allowing Femininity to envelop you, shape you, change you, and make you a better person mind, body, and spirit, that is a world beyond capable thought at the start.  But should you choose to take each step one by one, you will find yourself miles and miles away from where you began, and you will never miss the place you started.

 Finding Dominant Women to forcibly purge the evil and destructive male ego from your life is essential. Humiliation, documentation, and positive reinforcement of your new life are all critical steps needed to accept the sissy you secretly have known for many years, has always existed. I am a believer that real sissies are born, and if we are truly fortunate, the Feminine Universe reveals itself to us to discover our true selves fate intended us to be.

 I became much more fulfilled as a person when I accepted both my failures as a masquerading male's male, cast that aside and began embracing the sissy I knew I was since I was very young. I now proudly have a whole second bedroom filled with more Female clothes etc than in the "other" room, where I still have to masquerade in vanilla life. In fact I write my blog posts from my sissy bedroom, surrounded by the Feminine energy of all the clothes, panties, dresses etc many gifted to me by amazing Women. But changing the packaging on the outside is only a small part of the equation. Becoming the real sissy the Feminine Universe intended you to be, means changing spiritually and physically.

 Sissy chastity is that gateway, and it's been an amazing thing to witness the sheer explosion of sissies worldwide embracing chastity as a normal party of everyone's sissy life. I absolutely love it that chastity is a sissy's new normal, and 3344 days later, I can't imagine not being permanently denied physical pleasures of a life I have willingly left behind. But those new to chastity always fret over physical stimulations and the joys of self joy. But as many of us experienced sissies know, another whole new world of sexual pleasure awaits those brave enough to change how their sissy brains experience pleasure sexually. 

Any sissy who discovers their hidden sexual organ, the p-spot sissygasm, soon understands that sexual pleaure in any other way becomes a massive disappointment. A real sissygasm is the closest experience we will ever have in achieving a true Womanly physical and spiritual experience, and as sissies it becomes our duty to learn to only want to experience satisfaction in this manner. The days of being a painty boi, jerking off your rock hard erection into a pair of panties is long over.

 Being a sissy means chiselling away all the ugliness of your original male existence and smoothing out the rough edges and replacing them with softer curves, softer traits, more empathy, better manners, quieter voices, and making way at all times for the stronger Women in our lives, elevating Them, and Their desires.

Our experiences as sissies, buttressed by long term chastity, allows us the experiences of our sissy clits remaining restrained for long periods of time, and in turn becoming softer, smaller, and completely insignificant in our most basic sexual urges where our p-spot sissygasms replace the old ways. 

That is where the joys of being soft becomes a spiritual elevation of our Feminine selves. Being soft is the thing we all should experience, because it means our minds are right. We aren't being controlled by useless male thoughts behind the scenes. Our old male egos have been obliterated and crushed to dust. What we offer now is soft, pretty, and in full contrast to our old ways

 When once in our younger days, many dreamed of having size and girth in those ugly cotton briefs, we have now progressed to a place where we love and adore those above us who are beautiful, Feminine, advanced, and now make us dream of shrinking our panty encased sissy-clits to as small as possible. And the smaller our sissy-clits become the more beautiful expression of our developing Femininity our sissy leaks become

But perhaps the best thing about all the above is when you share those experiences with the Dominant Women in your life. Expressing your grattitude to Them, in allowing you to grow into the sissy you have always been meant to be, develops another under developed sissy trait: Gratitude.

Sissies should always express their genuine gratitude to the Women in their lives who have created the place for a sissy to become the real versions of themselves. Because as we know, without Women, we are nothing. 

 The more you give to others, the more you will receive from the Feminine Universe. I have lived this enough to know it is absolute truth.

Sincerely Sissy

Devina 

Vintage Sissy Art Vol 38

Accepting Your Sissy Self Changes Your Relationship with All Women

 One of the major changes I have experienced in my ongoing sissy life's journey is in how my daily relationship and perspective towards all Women has evolved to the point that my secret sissy self to Women in the vanilla world, expresses itself in quiet servitude. Increased manners, politeness, yielding way in lineups etc...it all has changed, and for the better I might add.

 When you accept yourself for what you always have known that you are, as a sissy, you begin to lose the weight of the internal battles your old emasculated male ego would wage against your thoughts, actions, and the sheer fatigue of those mental battles, begin to fall to the wayside and you can simply live a more peaceful and relaxed life, regardless if you live your sissy life in private, public, or both.

 One of the compliments that I cherish the most is from my Domme, Lady Diva Cane, when She compliments me on my consistency in my devotion, and efforts to express my eternal gratitude to wards Her and Others who have continued to reinforce my path as Her sissy.  When you let yourself practice the habits of a behaved sissy each day, and allow those feelings to come forth in the daily world, to be expressed by better behaviour towards all Women, it becomes a much easier thing to find your own consistency. And isn't that what being a sissy is truly all about?

 While all of us sissies start behind the same locked door of a bedroom, usually with a pair of panties, pantyhose, or stockings, it' becomes our life long mission to evolve, and to accept that we can never stop learning how to be better Feminine versions of ourselves. A large percentage stop themselves at the "sissy slut" stage, and while that is a very fun place to be, one should never stop there. I look back at that stage in my sissy life as the end of the beginning, for my spiritual sissy journey truly began when I knew I needed more from being a sissy than just the physical, and the humiliation rituals of the war with my old male ego.

 Loving yourself as a sissy means loving all Women, regardless of Their relationship with you. This is especially true to Women who are complete strangers to you. Your manners, and quiet submission to Their needs in daily life reflect positively on all the things your Domme teaches you, and all the Feminine lessons you learn as a sissy. These should reflect in your attitudes, mannerisms, and conducts each and ever day. Women will notice good behaviour, regardless if they know you are a sissy or not. Why, you ask? Simply because the world today is so devoid of what you can offer any Woman, quietly as a sissy.  Respect, manners, politeness, and putting a Woman's needs before yours in any situation is something Women DO notice. Your reward may be small in gesture, but in reality your daily reward as a sissy should be that each and every day, you did something to make the lives of any Women you interact with each day, a more pleasant experience. Most importantly without expecting anything in return.

 Your consistent quiet expression of your sissy self in daily life will also be noticed by the Dominant Woman in your life, and in those moments when She decides to reward your good sissy behaviour, it is in those moments where it is crucial to mentally link Her rewards with your efforts to all Women. This is an essential step in expanding your spiritual sense of your sissy self. Your good energy that you should put forth to all Women, eventually comes back to you by the Woman in your life who has put in such an effort into making you a far better person than where you started, behind that locked door.

Embrace your sissy self. Never stop trying to be the best sissy you can be. Do it for Her.

 

Devina 

When It's This Beautiful, How Could You Not Madly Love It So?

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Today on FDTV

 

Perhaps the Feminine Universe Enjoys Tormenting me

 

I have been very blessed as a sissy by my Domme, Lady Diva Cane and by my original Matriarch fairy Godmother Lady Morganna to have experienced some amazing things in my sissy life. Losing my anal virginity, my first makeover, hands free sissygasms, and much more to list. I consider them all blessings from the Feminine Universe of Femdomination as a devoted sissy to Female Supremacy.

There has been one experience that I have been knocking at the door for many summers now, but simply have been unable to unlock the key to, and that's experiencing a sissygasm while riding my bicycle, very much as a young Girl would. I have experienced many times while on a long ride, Femdom visualizations that caused me to experience massive edging, and have tried to bring myself to that magic place where my turgid sissy clit messes up my bike shorts, but again and again i am denied the trip over the sissygasm falls.

  Today I even tried stacking the deck, and rode for over an hour with my own sissy mindbreaker audio mix playing in my earbuds. I created several 7 hour audio tracks of a variety of sissy hypno mixes to sleep to, and I had one playing today while riding. I even began a series of visualizations of Lady Diva, and Lady M enjoying my asspussy being plowed by Shecock, and tried to embrace Their smiles of seeing Their sissy creation be thoroughly abused by Shecock. No matter what I tried, my exercise session was an enormous edging experience and nothing more.

I shared my frustrations with Lady Diva just a short while ago, and in Her wisdom, She offered a reason as to why the Feminine Universe seemingly enjoys tormenting me so much this way.

"It's Penance"

 Her reply made me immediately understand what I was experiencing, by not experiencing a sissygasm on my bike seat. And with that comment, I simply replied,

"Then i gladly accept"

I'm certain tomorrow will bring a huge sissyleak while fully limp from my little nub like sissy clit encased in panties, and I will express my gratitude to the Feminine Universe and Lady Diva for allowing me that.

And I will continue to pay my penance for my pre Devina life...