Devina's Domme of the Day July 28

 

Devina's Domme of the Day June 30

 

Devina's Domme of the Day May 10

 

Devina's Domme of the Day Feb 8

 

Devina's Aug 21 Domme of the Day

 

Devina's May 23 Domme of the Day

 

Devina's May 3 Domme of the Day

 

The Butterflies

Originally posted Oct 27, 2016

 

From the very first time as a lump of male clay who worked up the nerve to submit to Mistress Morganna that first time, they were there. From the first time I gave in to my curiosity and desires of being with a Shemale and knocked on Diamond's door, they were there. The first time I admitted my sissy desires to Mistress Morganna they were there. And the first time I met Lady Diva Cane alongside Mistress Morganna, they were there.....the butterflies

At each step for me that represented a major step, or a point of no return, I have fought with terrible bouts of nervousness. The blood runs out of my hands, my stomach becomes a rope full of knots, and I shiver and shake uncontrollably. Each time, I knew that there was no going back to what my life was like before that moment in time, before what was to come. With each hurdle overcome came a growing confidence, but as is my nature, I've always been very careful in being discrete and private with Devina. The world she shares with her genetic host, simply do not co mingle, nor do their worlds.

 

I've said before, how I envy those brave gurls that fully expose themselves online or to their families and or friends. I admire that bravery, I truly do, and in so many ways I wish I could shout out from the roof tops and proclaim to the world for anyone to hear, "I AM SISSY, WATCH ME WHORE!!"

Alas, we all have our crosses to bear as gurls. Some of us have spouses and families, that simply couldn't handle our deepest secrets, and would cause irreparable damage to those we love the most . Some of us have vanilla lives that exist under public scrutiny, that simply couldn't survive the truth of who we really are. Some of us live under a variety of reasons as to why we must protect our sissy personas from the slings and arrows of the world at large.

I won't get into my own personal reasons for keeping Devina's shared identity as confidential as I have over the years, because it's no better or worse than the hundreds of thousands, perhaps millions of gurls who at one time or another, have found themselves in the same position as me. Torn between the desire to break free of the chromosomal chains that bind us, yet absolutely terrified of the potential harm that could happen to so many facets of our lives in many instances.

With all that said, little by little, one tiny carefully measured step at a time, I've allowed Devina to be revealed to the world, and to those in my growing circle of trusted confidants. With each of those reveals, the butterflies came back but were not as strong as before. I felt safe in doing so, I guess.

 

And with each of those reveals, I've slowly revealed more of me in social media, although I take great pains in doing so. I overthink, over analyze each pic I contemplate sharing, wondering if I'm about to click on my own self destruct button when I post something. I quietly tell myself that it would be easy to laugh off such a wild notion if someone tried to make the connection between Devina and her genetic host. I also remind myself that if someone did in fact connect the fuzzy dots, that they too, would have to admit their own love of sissy gurls, shecock, and Femdom, so perhaps that's the stalemate solution.

While that carefulness has served Devina well for many years, recently I did something so typically Female; I got jealous!

Lady Diva provided a forum for some of Her other sissies to be shown off, and it ate away at me that I wasn't included among them. It bothered me that I wasn't allowing Devina her proper due as one of Lady Diva's creations to be shown like a trophy on a wall. What was once a male subbie, taken down and transformed into a Shecock loving slutty gurl. I deserved to be on that wall, I HAD to be on that wall!!

Then they came flooding back... the butterflies

Just like old times, as I perused through the picture files Lady Diva had taken of me in all sorts of clothing. Some dresses, some lingerie, slut wear, and evening gowns, and somewhere everything in between. I began trying to choose some hot sexy pics and then had to confront the fact that in some of them, Devina's host would be fully completely exposed.

 

And it wouldn't be just Lady Diva, or Maitresse Cathie, or Lady Jane who could put the puzzle together, it could be anyone. And my hands began to get cold, and my stomach knots returned as I struggled with finding the right pics to share, until I thought I found some that could work, and sent them to Lady Diva.

A while later She replied simply, 

"I would like some more of the polished looking ones in sexy poses.."

I knew what that meant. Not good enough. No, if I was to be a trophy on Her wall, I had to look as if I belonged there. I agonized again, substituting a pic with an even more revealing one, full frontal, exposing my locked up sissyclit in it's extra small chastity device, pink nails, multi colored pink ensemble dress, stockings, my sissy engagement ring, and a closed eye look of sheer sissy bliss. My fingers were trembling when I hit send.

 

Another while later, Lady Diva replied, " Photos are up."

And just like that, with Lady Diva taking me by the hand, Devina moved a tiny bit more out of the shadow of her sissy closet, into the light a little more. It is exhilarating and slightly unnerving all at the same time. I know I'm probably way over cautious but that's just how protective one is of the special flower that blooms within me. Yes there is a chance, remote as it may, that Devina could be outed, but I will continue to put my trust and faith in the Dominant Women around me, who have allowed me to find my true potential. I look forward to the day when Devina can stand proudly in her glamour photo shoot makeup and sexiest outfit for all to see. I took another step in making another dream happen, and like every time before, those butterflies are subsiding...

Sincerely Sissy

Devina

 

Devina's Jan 14 Domme of the Day

 

The Joy of Women Knowing

Originally posted Oct 2, 2015

 

 I envy those gurls who can let it all loose and with a simple click expose themselves fully across the electronic globe and into the world. It's a tempting thing to just drop the cloak that covers, hides, protects, shelters, entraps one and stand alone, in your heels and makeup, ready to take on the brave new world as one's true self; the one you've nurtured inside and alone for years.

For every brave one, there are thousands who can never overcome the shackles of their born gender that bind them. It's fully understandable and all one can hope is each gurl finds her way as safely as possible and in a fulfilling manner.

There are many still who live in and out of the shadows, taking brave steps into the light only when they feel safe, with those who they have found to feel safe with. I, myself are one of these type gurls. Once I was fully in the shadows, all by myself. But once I found Femdomination, I found the ability to step out into the dim light provided by Mistress Morganna, and then Lady Diva and eventually others.

 

Finding the key to unlock your inner Feminine self is a monumental moment. It's a door that you can never go back through, although sometimes we think we can, but really we can't. So many purge their gurly things only to collect more after the guilt has worn off. I've always considered myself so fortunate to have found Women to shelter, encourage, and guide me in so much that i have never purged. I'm not saying I haven't pruned my wardrobe over the years, because I have, but I have always found Dommes able to take those Feminine clothes and aid other gurls. No, I couldn't just one day lie to myself and say " I'm no longer doing this anymore", simply because I know how ridiculous that is to even think.

My path was set the moment I as a teen, grabbed my sister-in-law, Anna's panties off the guestroom floor and inhaled the Womanly essence that instantly penetrated my psyche to unlock the memories of fascination I had years earlier with Women's stockings. My life was created for me to eventually become a sissy. There was no escaping it, but the choice I did have was to determine what type I could be. My devotion to Women as a sissy gurl put me on a quest to find and embrace Women who were willing to accept me for the incomplete being I was, with so far to go and so much to learn. That was several years ago, before the LGBT+ movement.

 

Coming out as a blurred gender person today, while still not easy by any means, is far more doable today than when I first started. For me the fear of complete ridicule, and life altering damage was very real. Even with all the gender bending going on today, still most Women have a difficult time understanding what sissies are all about, let alone the different types of sissies! The reason for this is that a majority of sissies prostrate themselves with desires to be subservient to maleness, which to me (sorry gurls) is absolutely skin crawling to think of. Therefore most Women tend to think of sissies as some sort of gay freaks when that's not always the case.

For me, I love Women and everything about them to the point of devoting such a great deal of my adult life in emulating, and being subservient to them. I understand the initial shock a Woman would have to see a sissy dolled up before Her and the humiliating laughter that would come from Her or a group of Ladies together. That is a badge of honour I'm willing to earn, if to one day have Lady Diva or another Domme be able to explain to them what I'm all about and to help them understand perhaps a little of what gurls like me are all about. We're not something to be feared, but rather nurtured like any childlike person learning their way in the world, who needs that Motherly love only Women can provide.

 

With every step along the way, I've tried to seek out Women who could understand me and in turn for my respect, devotion and servitude, enable me to become the gurl I continue to desire to be. The beautiful thing about the journey is that it never ends and it always is evolving. At first it was Mistress Morganna knowing my embryonic secrets of once being a panty boi and later a beginning sissy wannabe. Then as She brought Lady Diva into my life, my evolution started and my desire to share my most locked away and private secrets with other Women began to grow, albeit slowly and carefully. Lady Bernadett, Mistress Patricia, and Suzanna Stern then became key holders to my most trusted secrets and over time I learned the proper ways to approach and offer respect and genuine humility to those Women who were my superior in the hopes that I could learn from them. Not all accepted me but over time my sincere desires to engage with Women in a mannerly and respectful way as a gurl brought me Womanly gifts beyond belief.

 

With my cherished circle of Wonderful Dommes now reaching to many parts of the globe, it gives me growing confidence to perhaps one day drop the veils and come fully out. I can't say how close or far that is, because I've never truly know where my sissy life was going to take me. However each time I share intimate parts of my life and sexuality with Lady Diva, Maîtresse Cathie La Divine, Cruel Dama, Lady Jane and others it helps me grow in confidence. Recently I shared a video with Lady Diva of a recent Shemale encounter where I was sissied up and took a wet Shecock facial and as W/we watched it together. 

Instead of being overcome with dread or embarrassment, I was filled with pride that I could show Her what Her sissy She-cocksucking slut creation had become and the smile on Her face at the end was something that filled me with pure joy. It's my continuing dream to make Her smile along with all the other Amazing Dommes in my life, via my development as a true sissy, to always be their devotee and their plaything to make them happy.

In the end, it's always been what I've ever wanted , and the more Women who can come to know the real me, the happier I will become. I'm a gurl, I love Women, I serve Women, I'm a whore for Shecock, and I'm a Shecock cumslut, and I will always be inferior and incomplete without You in my life.

With Love to All Womanhood

Your Sissy

Devina

Happy Canadian Thanksgiving - Much To Be Thankful For

 

Originally posted 2015 Thanksgiving, yet my gratitude remains.

Sissies always find themselves torn between multiple worlds. Their born gender and their chosen or desired one. Their outward assumed sexuality and their deeply desired one. Their accepted/expected role in society and the yearning and longings to have the freedom to express themselves via their Feminization and to hope to find anything but ridicule.

There are times when we find ourselves immersed in the pure joy that sweeps over us when enveloped in our Femininity, the heart swelling of pride when a Domme is pleased by us, and the rewards of our sissy wanton lusts satisfied when we give in fully to our sissy dreams. And yet there is the sadness, depression, and loneliness that comes when those things for reasons that vary, are removed from us, be it for a short while, or longer. When a sissy's Femininity is taken from her, for no matter how long, it is only then that she understands just how important her sissy side, her Feminine side, the Female spirit within, is to her entire being. There are times for all of us. no matter how active we are in our Femininity, where life, circumstance, employment, etc intrudes into our sanctuary that is our Feminine world and disrupts everything.

 

I've always strive to keep in daily contact with my Feminine side, and in a lot of ways, my blog is a valuable tool. Some days it's the only connection to my inner self that I have in maintaining the correct mindset that Lady Diva and so many others have instilled in me as to how to embrace who I really am. Recently, life intruded and took me away from all my Feminine things; my clothes, makeup, toys, shoes, etc.. for an extended length of time, and the worst part of it was not just being away from home, but being away from ME. It very much put into perspective how much all those things weren't just "things", they were now pieces of who I was, and how I saw myself. I missed not being able to sleep in my silk jammies, or satin negligees. I longed to the feel of stockings on my legs and the familiar comfort of wearing panties everyday. Even the pain of wearing my 4 & 5" heels at home, were now things I missed...

With my new work assignment I was weeks away from the office, I missed wearing stockings, garters, and panties under my "business" clothes. I longed to play the fun mental game of trying to figure out who had the sexier panties on that day; me or one of my Female bosses. So as I write this entry today, back home, it is in all the familiar comforts of my Feminine attire and on this Thanksgiving weekend here in Canada, I truly have so much to be thankful for.

Unlike today, with so much reach to the virtual world in every corner of the globe, when I first discovered my feelings of real Femininity, it was pre-internet and a very scary lonely place, full of shame and self doubt. I'm thankful to the Dominant Women who first guided me, Mistress Morganna, Mistress Patricia, Lady Bernadett , Suzana Stern, and later the wonderful Lady Diva Cane. You all nurtured the seed, allowed it to germinate and grow, and then protected it and cared for it until strong enough to take root. You showed me the path to take my first baby deer steps onto wearing heels I wobbled in many times, but loved just the same.

 

In my sissy life today exists a plethora of Dominant Women of whom words simply cannot convey my gratitude at how They have made time for me, humoured me, and put up with me in the smallest of ways. They are spread over the globe, and many I may never meet in person (although I truly and sincerely wish one day to serve before You, even just once), but Your positive reinforcement, acceptance and encouragement, each day gives me motivation, and inspiration to follow my sissy training and conditioning to the Womanly goals in life I aspire to. I know to many of You, I'm just another internet sissy, but each of You truly make a difference in my life each and every day. Your Feminine radiance of Your strong Womanly divine spirit are the beacons in my life set to guide me along my path of sissy destiny....

In no particular order I wish to convey to you from the bottom of my heart:

Mistress Nikki Whiplash - A vision in Female perfection. You continually make my heart stop with Your piercing gaze. My love for You is sincere and pure.

Miss Jasmine - An amazing inspiration to follow one's heart and embrace the adventure of the journey, no matter where it leads.

Lady Jane - A sissy could not have a better Woman to feel accepted, embraced, and loved in the ways that only You can. You are truly the rarest of gems. It is forever a goal in my life to experience Your energy in person to express to You through submission how special You are in this world.

Lady Riva - You honoured my sissy existence, in what was truly a surprise to me. Thank You so much for giving me reason to one day see Germany.

 

Madame Terri-Jean Bedford - Canada's crusading Dominatrix, You inspire all to be strong in the face of ridicule, and to never give in.being acknowledged by You was truly a humbling experience, thank You.

Goddess Brianna - Simply an intoxicating cocktail of Femdom radiance, heart stopping beauty, and the most devious imagination. Your Feminine power radiates pure.

Mistress Lady Foc - Such a warm loving energy that I hope to one day experience in person. Hopefully together with....

Mistress Cruel Dama - You chose to bestow Your grace upon me and took me in like a flower battered in a rain storm and allow me room to renew and grow. My sissy heart is warmed each time it hears from You and I hope I may reward You one day by being the best sissy I can be in person.

Mistress Tracy Dallas - Your awe inspiring Female spirit is only matched by Your amazing personality. Your acceptance of gurls like me, continues to give hope that we all can live the life we choose , free of society's dispersions, and full of inclusion. My sissy heart skipped a beat from the first time I saw Your picture, and it overjoys me so each time You grace my life.

Miss Simone Justice - A legendary Domme, who's power over nature, allows Her to be such an amazing Woman, full of patience, and full of kindness.

 

Princess Embry Addams - The Femdom Princess of the frozen north. A dazzling combination of fire and ice. Thank You for allowing me into Your world.

Goddess Heather - A standard to which Feminine Power and Feminine Strength is measured. Your radiance transcends time, space, and technology. There is no measurable way that a sissy could feel anything but fully and completely inferior to You. A true Force of Nature that makes me tremble in the wake of Your pure awesomeness. Your gifts are ones I treasure with pure reverence.

Mistress Cathie LaDivine - From the first time I saw Your picture, I was captivated and forever in awe of You. I was so honoured to have been welcomed into Your world, and am forever grateful for Your gifts of which I will forever cherish, the foremost being Your friendship. Recently I was feeling quite down and felt my sissy energy was at a very low point. I would like to think that Your Feminine intuition let You know that a sissy sister needed an energy only You can provide, so Your email out of the blue truly brought a tear to my eye, and emotions to overflowing. From the bottom of my heart and soul, Thank You.

Lady Diva Cane - My Mistress, my confidant, and the keeper of my most inner secrets and desires. What You have brought to my life in allowing this sissy to grow from the recessed fantasy of a lowly male worthless sub, to the Shecock sucking sissy slut gurl who overflows with joy with each transformation You provide.....one cannot express in words the impact You have had on my life. Without You I would still be nothing. Without Your encouragement, none of the above aforementioned Dommes would ever have been a part of my sissy existence. You have allowed me to overcome some of my deepest fears and to realize some of my wildest dreams. There are no words to express my never ending gratitude....

Lady Morganna - My real life fairy GodMother. You were the first who placed Your hands on this lump of useless male clay, and began to shape it into something of Your vision. You gave me structure, a foundation, and code of submissive ethics and conduct that I follow to this day. I could never have become the real me without You. 

To all the amazing Dommes in my life, on this Thanksgiving, I am so very humbled and thankful to have each and every one of You as the guiding lights of my life. In this world where often Domme's patience and energy are constantly tested and drained by unappreciative, selfish, and boorish subs, please know that You all have touched my sissy life in the most wonderful ways, and in the most Womanly of ways. Your energy fuels me to keep travelling the paths of Feminization and Femdomination. Thank You all so much and I love You all in the most sincere of ways possible.

Devina