Sissy Sex: The Desire to Love Like a Woman

 

 The longer I have identified as a sissy, the more I have come to understand the fundamental differences that sissies have with others in alternative lifestyles. For myself, before I came to the point of needing to explore my inner sissy persona that was yearning to break free, I was split between worlds, and it wasn't just two. There was my vanilla daily world where I was failing miserably with any Female 'normal' relationships for reasons I could never fully understand. Then there was my growing love of experimenting with Trans Women & TGirls, but that was happening from a traditional male/top perspective, and while it was fun, thrilling, mind bending etc... it was like eating ice cream. Tasty, short term satisfying, but not something you could live on.

Then there were the world spent as a male subbie who was coming to grips that something deeper was needed to fill a void that was becoming so ever self evident. When I decided to come out to Lady M & Lady Diva about my need to live my submissive life as a sissy, and the desire to give life to the Feminine energy inside since childhood, only then did all the storms of mental and emotional conflict that I was living with, begin slowly to separate and eventually subside.

By some textbook definition I would have been seen as bi-sexual, but to me that simply was not the case whatsoever. Males repulsed me in a sexual manner, (literally makes my skin crawl) and still do. But TGirls were so different because the ones that I was attracted to, I saw as truly being Women with a special gift from nature. A gift to be celebrated. I knew from the very beginning when I needed to live more of my life as a sissy, that I was a sissy lesbian, even if not many would even understand what that meant. Luckily for me Lady Diva knew, and She encouraged me to forge down that path and be true to myself.

 

Armed with that tiny bit of self confidence, didn't make everything magically better, but it did allow me to become more comfortable in my own skin. Pretty much from that point onward, I stopped topping when with Trans Women, and mentally gave in to my more natural nature of wanting to experience each encounter with a TGirl as one of sensuality, instead of sexuality. I learned to worship and in essence make love to Shecock, and I learned to love my new place as a bottom, even if I wasn't quite ready to reveal myself as a sissy with a TGirl (yet).

My revealing my new path to Lady Diva, shifted Her relationship with me as well. I've never questioned Lady Diva's natural superiority, nor Her ability to reign down any manner of hellfire on a misbehaving subbie. Yet now Lady Diva took on a more of a big Sister who was in charge, and who took me under Her Sisterly wing to guide me through to where I needed to go. That was a monumental shift to the psyche of the person that was to become Devina. I now had a pillar to lean on in my first steps of my sissylife journey. Session play shifted as well, as the more Feminine I tried to be, the more rewarding She was. Instead of spanking and corporal punishments, I was being taught how to sit, how to pose, how to move in Feminine ways. This was the training I yearned for!

 

As my sissylife began to take shape, and Devina's personality and confidence began to grow, I started to see ever aspect of my whole life differently.& I began to understand a little more why vanilla relationships with Women were faltering, and how exhausting it was to be split between different worlds. Each time I accepted a little more that I was a special type of sissy with lesbian desires, it was like huge weights being lifted off me. It didn't come without it's own set of challenges but I could navigate my sissy journey better, knowing where I truly was and where I wanted to go.

It was around that time where I began to realize that my desires for love and emotional attachment were bonded to the sissy that was inside of me since childhood. Having sex for most of my life in a traditionally male way was increasingly less and less satisfying. But as a sissy, sensual play, and Trans Women interactions began to take on emotional rewards I've never experienced before. I could actually feel emotional attachment to sexual and sensual acts as a sissy, that I never could before. This new sexual and emotional freedom gave me the courage to finally present myself before a Trans Woman for the first time in a true sissy manner, and it was completely liberating!

 

When I revealed myself for the first time before Sunshine, a beautiful African Trans Woman, She embraced me and for the first time in my life I experienced sex in a completely free and uninhibited way, and for the first time in my life I felt a connection between the physical, the sexual, but most importantly, the emotional! I can remember that encounter vividly and my gawd I was a wanton slut before Her but it was a complete surrender to what I always knew was within, screaming to get out. I took a spectacular facial, which I taped and later shared with Lady Diva, to cement who and what I was and always wanted to be.

 

But this meant now that sex needed to be tied to emotional experiences as well, and the only way that was possible was with Women & TGirls. It also brought into clarity finally the mystery that was chastity, as I never could understand the attraction until I knew that I needed to bond to my sexual experiences from a Female perspective and that meant what was once my cock, needed to become something that was no longer the center of attention.

From there, the experiments into short term, then longer term chastity began, along with the mental conditioning and psychological reprogramming that I've slowly undergone over the past several years. My 9th chastiversary is just under 2 weeks away, and I find myself more than ever, wanting to make love as a Woman, and to always connect emotional attachment and satisfaction to sexual release, and that makes me fully comfortable as a sissy lesbian. Relationships haven't gotten easier because finding Women who can wrap their heads around the type of person I am now, isn't easy, but I remain true to who I am, what I am, and what I need to be happy.

Sincerely Sissy

Devina 

Spring Comes and Devina Gets Horny

 

I'm still buzzing on cloud 8 or 7 as I share this with you all, but the ebony goddess above just finished pounding my little asspussy and treating me like the proper slut I really am.

My day was spent preparing myself by being fully shaven, clean (inside and out gurls) and the favourite part, picking out the proper outfit. It had been a few years since I have seen Sunshine and a lot has changed in my life, although my last encounter with Her had her fucking the living hell out of me too, and perhaps signalled the inevitable change that was to become in Devina. But I was just a bottom boi bitch back then, not what I presented to Her this evening.

I came out of Her bathroom in a black, white, and pink mini dress, knee stockings with pink bows at the back, pink Mary Janes and my sissy clit locked in it's chastity and graced in a pair of pink lace panties, along with Devina's trademark red locks. Needless to say Sunshine was surprised but pleasantly, much to my relief. She embraced me like a sister and we both sat on the bed chatting and catching up on my new persona.

 

She was blown away and loved the new person She saw before Her and couldn't wait to see more of me. I showed off a little as She took me all in and then refused to wait any longer as She had me assume the position, on my knees with Her black growing cock in front of my face as I immediately did what a gurl slut does and gorged myself on Her cock.

It had been far too long since I've tasted real She-cock and I completely gave in to this growing black piece of candy in my mouth. I wanted to lick it, kiss it, rub it on my face, all over my lips, kiss Her balls, I just wanted IT ALL! She sensed my enthusiasm and had to take her cock away from my mouth as She was turned on by this sissy slut worshiping Her cock. No, She didn't want to paint my face yet. She wanted my asspussy and I was more than ready to oblige.

I was soon bent over, knees on the bed, Mary Janes pointed toes horizontal like a good slut does, as She began rubbing Her lubed cock all over my asspussy. My mind raced back to the last time, years earlier when I was in the same position, just a hairy male bitch. Now this was different. This was an entire evolution of the real me! I was shaven fully, sissified, cocksucker lipstick smudged and asspussy exposed and eagerly needing to be filled. Sunshine slowly entered me and with steady force began to open me up. "Oh my!"

 I knew I was going to take it all, and I had tried to be relaxed as possible but being grabbed by the hips and feeling Her searing hot cock enter me filled my sensed to overload and I gasped. She sensed my tightness and took Her time slowly opening me up until completely inside me. Gawd I loved the feeling of Her cock filling my asspussy and I missed it so. She began to drive Her cock deep inside me and soon enough my complete inner slut, now exposed fully as the sissy whore I really am, just took over and I pushed back hard on Her cock each time it entered me.

"Oh Devina, you like that?" She cooed

"Fuck, I love Your cock in my asspussy! Fuck me!" I moaned, loving each thrust.

By now I was not being some lethargic bottom boi, like long ago. I was being impaled by this black She-cock of my dreams and I didn't want it to end. I was driving myself on it, losing myself on it, rotating my hips and clenching on it. I was a slut and I wanted to fuck this She-cock like a dirty whore would. No quit, no stopping, just being used like a slut. For the first time, Devina was outside Lady Diva's Dungeon and being exactly what she's always wanted to be. Each thrust of black She-cock confirmed my place, my purpose, and my reward for devotion to the Feminine Spirit. The Universe at that moment was rewarding me for my love given to all Dommes, all Women, and all TGirls. My reward was being fucked like a sissy gurl, my sissy clit locked away and useless, pleasing the cock inside me with my asspussy, my enthusiasm, and my wanton desire.

 

"I LOVE Your cock in my asspussy...pleeeeeeeaaase fuuuuuuuuck meeeeeeeee!!!!" I hoarsely moaned as She grabbed my hips harder and with one hand pushed my face onto the bed, giving Her full entrance deep inside my asspussy.

Sunshine pounded away a little while longer until She gave me one last deep thrust feeling Her balls slap my ass as She ordered me to turn around because it was time for a slut's reward: A face full of cum! A cumshot from Sunshine is more akin to taking a cumshower, and she painted my face, lips, chin, hair, dress, boobies, and I lapped it up willingly. A final kiss on the head of Her cock was the icing on the cake, taking a last glorious taste of She-cum.

 

 I stayed between Her legs long after Her eruption as we talked about Lady Diva's progress with me and how She would like to take part in my ongoing training. This sissy was indeed heaven! A face full of She-cum and knowing that coming out to Her as Devina was now going to pay off in my ultimate dream to be with lady Diva and Shemales at the same time. 

 

It was a beautiful night as I took another step on my own as Devina, and was embraced by a beautiful TGirl who not only rewarded my courage, but after She encouraged me to keep transforming, and not to turn away from it. Those words of acceptance and encouragement were so welcomed by my inner Femme spirit. Tonight I got to be who I really wanted to be the first time I surrendered my asspussy to Sunshine years earlier, and I couldn't be happier... 

A Time To Be Thankful

 

With the US Thanksgiving weekend well under way it's always a good time no matter where one resides, to take moments to reflect and be thankful for all life's blessings. Sissies should be no different because we have so very much to be thankful for. So in the spirit of the holidays down south, I'd like to share some of what I'm thankful for..

I'm so very thankful to Mistress Morganna (or Lady M as She prefers today) for opening the door to a world inconceivable to me when I submitted myself before Her for the very first time. Everything I am now, every amazing submissive experience, and every step on my sissy journey began in Her hands.

 

It's difficult to put into proper contact how thankful I am for Lady Diva Cane, and everything She has provided me in order for Devina to truly be born, and to grow into her own persona, and her own place in this world. She took the lump of submissive clay that Lady M began shaping and built a sissy upon that foundation, and continues to provide fertile soil for her to grow.

I am also so very thankful to each Dominant Woman who I have had the pleasure to meet, chat with, learn from, and session for. I'm also thankful for Their gifts of time, and Their perspectives as I tried to navigate the early steps and pathways in the BDSM world. To Lady Bernadett, Suzanna Stern, Mistress Patricia, and any others I may have overlooked, I give thanks for all the bricks You have placed in my foundation.

 

I'm eternally thankful to Diamond. My first Transexual encounter and one that was an incredibly positive experience. The times I spent with her gave me the courage to embrace my feelings and discover my true and honest desires and love of the third gender.

I'm grateful to TS Mistress Z, who took Devina's virginity with Her Shecock. The mind blowing experience of being entered with a hard, hot twitching, living Shecock is like no other. I'm grateful to Her for confirming my place as a bottom, marked now and forever.

 

I'm thankful for the opportunities to express my love of Shecock, and to Bambi, Erika, Danika Dreamz, Delilah, Dita, Egypt, Farah, Joanne, Lexi, Lola Swift, Lucy Bisset, Najwa, Nefertiti, Paris, Scorpio, Sunshine, Theresa, Zena, Tasha Jones (RIP), Gigi Lebond, Akira, Soda, and Suzy, for allowing me to taste you, feel you, and love you and your special gifts.

 

 

 

 

 

I'm thankful to all the Women who I've met, who have embraced the sissy I truly am, and have shared with me Their Womanly magic in pieces of their wardrobe, which I cherish and make as my own..

 

The above is only a small cross section of items, but each and every item has Their Feminine energy within it, and I feel it resonate within me when I wear them. I'm grateful that They have embraced who and what I am.

I'm also thankful that with each passing day, the world around me is slowly becoming less dark, and more open to sissies like me. I'm thankful to have found Women around me who understand that just because one is a sissy, doesn't automatically make them desire males, and for understanding that a sissy often has a deeper love for the Women around them than most can realize, and that there is definitely such things as sissy lesbians, because I am one.

And finally, I'm thankful to all the Dominant Women who grace me with Their time and energy, to reinforce my sissy life daily, and I'm thankful for all those who come to this blog. I never thought I would still be doing it, but it's a part of who Devina is as well.

If you are celebrating Thanksgiving, I wish everyone a safe and wonderful time with loved ones!

Sincerely Sissy

Devina

Cumming Around - Creation of a Cum Slut

 Originally Posted June 1, 2019

 

I often think deeply about certain key aspects of my sissy life and my ongoing sissy journey, and the evolution that's happened physically, mentally, and psychologically. I'm often fascinated at witnessing the true power of Femdomination at work in my own life along with others. It's often until I'm well past a certain momentous stage when only then am I able to recognize it and marvel in how it has permanently changed me, and for the better.

Which brings me to the topic of cum. 

Sperm, seed, jizz, or what-have-you. Before any sissy even recognizes their true calling, most of us go through stages in our early and young adult lives being psychological slaves to our original born (and inferior ) gender. Our factory packaged biology, which is destined to bring out the worst in us eventually, demands that dedicate a great deal of time and effort in casting our cum into the world. The actions and inevitable egos that combine with that call of our original nature, develops some of the worst traits in all of humanity, but luckily for some of us, we can choose to be better.

For many of us sissies, somewhere in our lives we hear a faint whisper over the din of the world around us. It keeps whispering to us to pay attention, and that there is something more for us to discover within ourselves; something greater. As the whispers increase in frequency and volume, we might find ourselves giving into the first tugs and pulls of the true sissy within us, but even as we begin to experiment with things like panties, and Women's underthings, we still view ourselves in the same way we always thought we were. If you are honest with yourself, you'll discover who you actually are, and everything slowly begins to change, and far far far unbeknownst to you, your position the world as a "broadcaster", begins it's evolution to "receiver".

By the time us sissies get to the seismic shift in life where we are staring our first real cock in the face, we already are well aware of the ability and power (both real and metaphorically) of what your first cock represents. You are about to become a bottom in the pecking order of your own world. You are about to hand over any and all illusions of what you once thought you were, and are about to embrace what you will become. All the silky Women's underthings may have been the gateway, and you might view cock as the point of no return, but hidden behind that is the real addicktion. Cum

 

From the very first second the first Shecock passed over my lips, all I could think and feel is the amazing sensations of how smooth Diamond's cock was, and how mind blowing the experience was. As funny as it may sound now, the fact that knowing full well what the inevitable end result of pleasuring a cock was, it really was not anything I was remotely thinking about in that moment. It was all about the Shecock. But eventually we all come around ;)

Sucking Shecock became a most taboo and wild experience, but back then I was still fooling myself in believing that it was something to do for fun, and was only a diversion to my vanilla life. I imagine it's a common thing anyone who has experimented with their sexuality experiences. We all think we can go back. Ya right!

 

It was only through the power of Femdomination at the skilled hands of Mistress Morganna, and then Lady Diva Cane, that my evolution from male subbie, to panty boi, to admitted closet sissy, that my true growth stage began towards what was to become Devina. Taking their strapon cocks regularly, being sissified, and learning my true place in the hierarchy of nature's true Femdom first order, laid the foundations of what was to become my sissy addicktions. But back then I was still fooling myself, living a life where half of me was a submissive subbie, transforming into the sissy life I tapped into in my youth, while the other half would gender bend with Trans Women, sucking Shecock and loving every second of it, but still sexually gratifying myself as a top with them.

It couldn't continue that way.

And it didn't. My firstexperience with a Dominant Trans Woman, Mistress Z  would seal the deal and from then on, when I spend time with Trans Women, my desires had shifted from topping to being a bottom with them, and it was then that my real transition in life began to cement itself.

I look back now with bemusement at when I took my first full Shecock facial. When you are fully lost in sucking Shecock, you real that point in the back of your mind when you can feel Her get a little more tense, and your sissy brain tells you whats literally cumming, but the first burst is magical. It's a combination of hot, silky smooth, sticky and unrelenting. In actuality a sissy facial lasts no more than 20-30 secs or so, but in you sissy brain, time slows down and it feels like a glorious fountain of validation that you as a sissy slut made a cock cum. You can't help but be caught up in that wave of satisfaction and pride.

But now Pandora's Box has been opened. You just discovered the most powerful drug a sissy can experience.

Cum.

And before you have even cleaned up from your first facial, you are a cum slut. You have no idea how this will change you, but it will. Permanently.

 

Combining Femdomination, Devina, and my love of Shecock, was the recipe for the transformation process I live today. Being a sissy is a continual process of transformation, and evolution, growth, achievement, and further transformation, etc etc. It has led me to a place where I now have spent 700+ days in sissy chastity, and an acceptance of new Truths in my life:

Devina is who I am

Devina will never engage in any activity where the sissy seed that drips from her sissy-clit will ever find its way inside any Woman ever again.

The steady process of harnessing, submission, and eradication of what was my EME (emasculated male ego) has with it, discarded any desire to "spread any seed". In fact it's now fully the opposite

I've now embraced a new encompassing love of cum. Shecock cum. I've felt the spectacular sensations of taking several Shecock facials now. The experiences are seared into my brain as some of my proudest moments as Devina.

I've also shared with Lady Diva a video of me with TS Sunshine, with her transformed as Devina, taking Sunshine's hot load in my face, hair, dress, etc. Gurls, let me tell you, when you show a Domme or any Woman, in person, a video of you taking a cum bath facial, and you see the smile and look of satisfaction on Her face, you are addickted to Her pleasure in you. You will want to give your gifts of sissy sluttiness, to Her repeatedly as they are the only true gifts you can give Her, because they are living proof of Her efforts in re-shaping you into something better.

 

You will evolve to the point in your sissy life where you will love cum more than you ever have before in your life. How you once viewed cum as a lower life form male pales in comparison. You will learn to live with the fact that while you will never cum inside any Woman ever again, that you will crave the hot splatter of Shecock on your face, and the searing hot sudden lubrication of your sissy asspussy when a real cock unloads inside of it. Your satisfaction is in the painting of your face, forever marking you a sissy cum slut and the cum that leaks down your thighs from a proper sissy pounding. It's what you will find yourself living for, and the joy that your Domme will feel in how you have fully embraced Her path for you.

The best part of the journey is that there is always more to cum! Embrace the ride, it's unlike anything you will ever experience, beyond your wildest dreams! 

 

Sincerely Sissy,

Devina