Over the past little while, I've managed to think back to when it may have been, when Female Dominance first took hold in my life. My earliest sissy seeds, sown in my early youth, fascinated with Women's stockings and pantyhose, were not accompanied by any sense of domineering really, so I began going back in thought as to where those seeds sprouted from?
I grew up surrounded by people older than me, including siblings, neighbours families, childhood friends, and their siblings. In this I recall now, that there were no younger Females in my immediate surroundings, always older. I think the closest in age was still 2 years older and up from there, and as a child 2 years plus is a lot. Never mind 5,7,8,10,13+ years older! My parent's friends from out of town also had daughters that were 4-10 years older than me, so perhaps that mindset of older, bolder, wiser, more assertive Females in my life was born of that dynamic, along with the occasional gentle, and not so gentle teasing that comes with interactions with older Girls.
I recall, my first real memorable experience with what I would call bratty or bitchy girls, back to a family holiday, where a group of families that were friends with my parents decided to take a holiday to the mountain resorts nearby where we lived. One family had brought along two of their daughters who would have been probably in their formative teens, while I was likely around 7 years younger at the time. Over the course of the week long vacation, these two were merciless to me and teased me just about every chance they could when our parents weren't nearby.
What made matters worse was that they were both very pretty, one brunette and one blonde, so it's not like I had any childish physical comebacks towards them! In fact I remember feeling flustered and embarrassed quite a bit each time they would tease me. Silently I wished I was their age because of their beauty, and I could be nothing but a little kid to them. Being where we were and not a lot of other kids nearby, their boredom and frustration was taken out on me. Was this where it all started? Was my internal feelings of inadequacy and embarrassment born from events like this, and being always surrounded by girls who were constantly older? Doing the quick math in our neighbourhood, was 3 daughters south of us, 4 north, 2 behind us and 3 more across and down the street. Did growing up with every girl-next-door being older, set the stage to condition my eventual submissiveness towards Women today?
I remember the first time when I discovered Nikki Whiplash, and Her exquisite bitchiness, and how it brought back memories of being the tormented little brother of a friend, teased, tickled, and with no ability to do anything about it as they would always be older than me, and as they grew older and many became beautiful Women, I was always alone in what grew into secret admiration and fantasies that could never find an outlet, until the fateful day I succumbed to my sister-in-law Anna's panties, and then the doorway was swung wide open into a world that would fundamentally change everything I knew and would become.
Is it any real surprise that throughout adulthood, every relationship encounter with Women have always been complicated and ultimately fruitless. I've always loved Women deeply but always felt as if I was playing a role as a traditional boyfriend, when deep down inside I've craved to be a boifriend or closet lesbian gurlfriend.
When I finally gave in to the sissy personality that was growing within and dying to burst forth, it only pushed further away any real chance for a traditional relationship with a Woman, regardless my feelings for Her. In today's world, transgenderism and gender bending is accepted at a far greater level than it was in my teens and twenties. I've always felt as a spirit out-of-time and my sissylife certainly has been no different.
So perhaps sissies like me are born after all? Maybe the universe knows exactly what we are supposed to be, and conditions us to discover our fates? In looking back it certainly seems irrefutable that my love of all things Feminine and my sissy destiny was in the stars. Maybe that's why I feel a sense of contentment as to my place as a sissy who gladly abandoned my old ways, and accept the physiological and physiological transformations that are happening within mind, body and spirit.
Regardless, the view from beneath so many amazing Dominant Women is heavenly!
Sincerely Sissy
Devina