Some Thoughts on This Day

 I've been wanting to write this blog post for quite some time, and have formulated it, re-formulated it, and more in my head for the better part of 2 years now.  I may not get it all out as I truly intend it, but I hope most of you can understand where it is I'm coming from, and that's from a place of clarity in my own mind, having witnessed the Trans community come forth since the mid 80's when I first discovered it.

My default setting is that I believe all people deserve respect. They deserve to be treated in an honest, straightforward manner, free from malice, free from intimidation, and in general a kind compassionate way, irrespective of race, color, creed, and sex.  My own personal code of conduct can be simplified into this basic statement: Don't Be A Dick To Others.

It's a code I have tried my best to abide by, and has gotten easier the more I got in touch with an embraced my Feminine side. My natural empathy to others has only increased since I accepted my true sissy self.  I learned as well with age and experience that one never knows what another is truly experiencing beneath the veneer they show the world. I live this daily when forced to navigate the vanilla world with panties, etc beneath my daily costume.

When it comes to the trans community, we have reached a place that can be best explained as a quagmire, and I'm sorry to say, much of it has been self inflicted by those who have been the loudest, and most militant. The Code, Don't Be A Dick To Others, has been obliterated in many respects, and the natural reaction by so many in the vanilla world who might have been accepting and understanding has been predictable. 

I see the Trans community as a tree with many branches, and not all of them grow at the same rate, and not all of them are even healthy.  The trunk of this tree belongs to those who truly know from an early age, without the influence or manipulation of others (major point of emphasis here), that they simply do not belong in the original packaging they were born into. To these individuals, I have the utmost empathy and respect for their journey. I have come to now know more people in this category than I ever could have thought possible, once upon a time, and my own life and journey has been enriched by them.  To the trans trailblazers of the 60's 70's 80's and beyond, their courage and defiance was and is awe inspiring. My own gender bending journey has brought me to a place where I identify my physical needs of companionship and physical joy with those who I will refer to as Nature's Third Gender. They are the rarest of flowers, the 4 leaf clovers, the Desert Roses, and the majority of them simply wish to live their lives as almost all of us do, without bothering anyone, and free to pursue their own life and interests. My heart goes out to them.

Somewhere along the way in the past decade, the struggle and acceptance that Trans people seek has been corrupted. There really is no other way for me to put it, and I fear that a lot of honest work is being undone by this hijacking of this group by radicals, who are hell bent on forcing their beliefs and agendas onto others. They have very little room for real inclusivity if you do not conform to their politics, their agendas, and do not march along with them in their general state of perpetual outrage.  

This has become the reason why I avoid the Alphabet Coalitions, Pride Day events, etc... For as far as those who live outside the lines, have come, I find these groups harshly intolerant if you are not goose-stepping in lock with the movement.  As most sissies have experienced firsthand, we are often most scorned and ridiculed by those who you would think should be on our side. Heaven help you if you have an opinion that runs contrary to their military beliefs regarding parental rights, etc... I know I'm not alone in this as quietly many have reached out in support of my common sense beliefs.

There is room in society for all of us, but if we, who are against the grain, do not want to be sanded out, we need to treat others with the same level of respect that many demand only in one direction.  There is nothing wrong at all about being aghast at seeing Drag Shows for children audiences for example.  In my own sissy journey, I am grateful that I'm not finding my way in this age, full of those ripping over their own self guilt and self loathing to groom, manipulate, and push youth into life altering decisions, with often devastating ramifications.  They leave families and loved ones to pick up the pieces while "Guidance Councillors, Teachers, and Activists" get to walk away scott-free from any car wrecks they help create.

My own questioning of my sexuality, my sexual preferences etc didn't fully materialize until I was well into my 20's, with age and experience finally allowing me to accept myself into my early 30's. I often shudder to think what terrible choices I may have made while being wrongly influenced by others. 

So where am I going with all this?  Lets start with the realization that parents and others simply need to offer love and understanding to those who don't always feel they conform. Not all of us will reach the point of SRS, HRT etc. Most Tomboy Girls will become beautiful Women, most effeminate males will become well rounded dads, if both are given the freedom to find themselves and unconditional love surrounds them. The notion that a child knows they are trans at 3 or 4 is completely absurd and does more to harm all of us than any redneck. I don't know how those of us with real journeys and real struggles extract ourselves from a group that has been hijacked by radicals and a growing number of people who need real therapy to deal with some very real issues, who jump and or let themselves be pushed into the "Trans Bin"?  

In my heart of hearts I don't think the number of individuals in society that experience genuine gender dysphoria has changes over centuries.  The fact that in the last 10 years the number of people who claim gender dysphoria has exploded and I fear the growing resentment by the masses towards the corrupted community as a whole will cause major damage.

As a sissy, the ability to find those who are open minded and openhearted, to want to learn an individual's story, is becoming more and more harsh. The radicals in charge now have everyone believing that if you are Trans, or live your life with a genuine Feminine side, that we are all pedophiles, perverts, and potential mass shooters, because so many who are lost and are looking to find some sense of connection, have been pushed into our camps.  We can't expect others to fix this for us, because we allowed it to happen on our watch. 

To those who have gotten to the end of this post and are not vibrating with rage, and swearing at me, labelling me, etc... thank you. I hope we are part of the solution as rational adults who simply don't want to be dicks to anyone, and know that in order to be treated with respect, we muct conduct ourselves in a respectful way to others.  The Alphabet coalition has to take a long hard look at itself in this regard.

In closing, to any Woman who is reading this, I hope You can find it in Your heart to give those of us who are sincere and genuine, a chance. Let us surprise you in the best of ways. Your love and acceptance can help a lot of people with their own healing. I will step off my soapbox now..

Love

Devina

Devina's Domme of the Day Mar 31

 

Devina's TGirl of the Day Mar 31

 

Femdom Wisdom - Why Feminization is Crucial

 

Some Domme's believe that Feminization is not necessary when dominating their male and that is true, its not, so why do it? First look at what happens when you don't. As a Domme one can dominate a male by force, or humiliation, or blackmail. You can keep him naked and make him serve as a servant. You can tie him up, spank him, keep him naked or in a cage but he is still a male and maybe even a man. As soon as You stop Your control he returns to being a man again or at least a male.

So each time You want something from him You need to put some kind of "Force" on him. There is always the threat he may fight back or refuse and that means a lot of extra work. For those who truly enjoy conflict, maybe this is the way to go but for most, You want a well trained completely obedient and compliant servant who WANTS to and NEEDS to serve You without regard for his own personal desires. Your desires become his desires.

 

Feminization removes the man or maleness from his mind. It changes him into a sissy servant thus the male issues and problems cease to exist. Males come with a wide range of issues, problems and faults. These can all be corrected through Feminization.Lets examine a few of the leading problems. 

First is male ego. Some have bigger ones than others but they all have it, they all are "men" in their own minds and nearly super human. This means they want control, they want things done their way, to look their way. What would a male say if You put him into a room decorated in pinks and whites and lace? HE would demand it be taken out. What if You bought a pink car, he would not only not drive it but would not ride in it.  How about You going out and spending time with other males? What if You held the remote? All these things have to do with the male ego and its a problem if you are going to have a compliant servant.

Another problem is giving. A male likes to give You a present and remind You he did but is he willing to do Your laundry? Wash Your dishes? Scrub Your floor? If he does he will remind you it was YOUR floor or YOUR laundry as if You are the one who is supposed to be serving him. Will he wait in the car for You while You are busy for an hour or two? But yet he would expect You to do so. You are expected to give as a Female but as a male he expects to receive all of these services and much more. This problem does not bode well either so must be dealt with.

 

The list goes on but You get the idea. So how do You change all of this and not have to lift a finger or make a threat of a beating? Simple, You start wearing the pants and put him into the panties, bras, nylons and dresses. You make up his face and paint his nails. You tell him he is NOT a man, he is a sissy. Yes it is pretty much that simple. Let me assure you that when Your husband or boyfriend is standing in front of You dressed as a sissy he will not argue, he will not threaten, he will not be a problem of any kind. It is so easy to mould a male into a proper sissy servant that it is beyond me why every Woman has not done it? Really, its so simple and so wonderful. And whats even better is once that male has relinquished control and accepted his new position as a sissy servant he likes it better too and wonders why You did not do it earlier? 

 

The problem is that You have to force him first. You have to get him into girls clothing and let him see he really is not a man. Real men don't wear girls clothes so if he does he is automatically not a real man. But just any old clothes are not enough. You have to remember that males are raised though visual symbols. They have embedded into their small minds ideals that are representations of what they expect and what they expect others will expect. So think of Feminine clothing as uniforms. 

Lets start with a maids uniform. Simple to understand, put the male into a maids uniform and he will instantly want to be the maid he looks like. Use plain ones for regular work and fancy ones for formal service. At night put him into very Feminine baby dolls with bows and pink slippers and a doll or teddy. Now he understands he is in nightwear and will sleep like a baby. Keep in mind Your not trying to dress him like most Women dress. Your trying to dress him like HE thinks Women should dress. Exaggerate his attire. For example, make Your sissies study every day and when doing so they must dress like a school girl but not like any school girl who may wear baggy pants and a sweat shirt, no, oh no, they must dress in the short school girl uniform, with little girl socks and shoes.

 

If You have a party for a sissy he must wear a fancy full petticoated little girls party dress. Not a pantsuit like a Woman might wear. He is not a Woman and he is not a man he is a pansy and he must dress like a pansy. He must never think he is a man or even a male he must constantly be reminded he is a sissy. This is done, vocally, visually and by feeling. Make sure Your sissy understands he is not a real man by being with real men. Make sure he feels like a sissy by wearing sissy clothes at all times and keeping his body free of hair and nails painted. Make sure he hears he is a sissy by reminding him of it. Things like "Your such a wonderful sissy" "if your a good sissy today I will get you some new sissy panties to wear when I go on my date Friday night".

Talk to others about him being a sissy so he can hear it. Let others see him as a sissy so you are not the only one. Never keep it a secret, let as many people know as possible so he can not pretend he is a man. But most of all, always reward him for being a sissy. Tell him how much You like it when he is properly dressed, When he serves You in front of guests how proud You are. Reward him with a pretty dress or fancy panties or new make up for things he does. Teach him to associate rewards with being a better sissy.

 

Now no matter what he is wearing or not wearing he knows he is a sissy, he knows others know he is a sissy and he can not escape from it. In a short time he will learn to love being Your sissy, dressing the part and serving You and Your guests and then You have the best of everything and so will he because he will think only of You all the time, he will desire to serve only You or who ever You tell him too all of the time and his satisfaction will come from pleasing You.

Devina's Domme of the Day Mar 30

 

Devina's TGirl of the Day Mar 30

 

That Moment When You Catch Yourself in the Mirror

 Originally posted Sept 28 2013

When this blog began a couple years ago (originally 2011), it was a way for me to share my story with those like minded people who could appreciate what someone who is looking to become better than what they started as, goes through during that process. Sometimes along the journey one catches a glimpse of how far they have come, yet knowing how much road is yet to be travelled ahead.

When I started down my (then unnamed) road to what eventually become the blossoming of Devina, I could never have imagined even in my wildest dreams the experiences I've had and the things I've done, which now are a part of me just as any other experience as a person on this ball floating around the sun. Never would I thought remotely possible owning an overflowing closet full of my very own Female clothing, my own shoe and boot collection, my own carefully picked cosmetics, and my own collection of toys and devices all designed to enhance and reveal the Female spirit within me.

Exponentially beyond that realm of possibility was the notion that I would one day become a proud sissy cocksucker, having sucked over twenty different Shemale cocks for close to 40 times in total. Sometimes reflecting on that still blows my own mind. One Shecock can be dismissed as curiosity, maybe two at best, but twenty?!? Nope, that Devina is a Shecock loving slut, believe me ;)

When that Line gets crossed there's no going back really. The next line that I've realized that has been obliterated is the reason for this blog entry. Yes, the sissy asspussy. Every gurl takes a big step when she begins to train her asspussy with toys, dildoes, or other instruments of pleasure. Others take the step of surrendering their asspussy to a Dominant Woman, where for the first time they begin to feel what it's truly like to be submissive to Shecock, albeit in strapon (and still wonderful in every way) form. The herculean leap is the final frontier so to speak. Real, hot, throbbing, twitching cock, loaded with cum. That is an experience that changes a gurl forever, and I was no different.

 I have recounted with you my first experience under the guidance of TS Mistress Z who took my asspussy cherry. While some gurls can be quite the whores with their asspussies, I didn't find myself stampeding down the road to Cock Central Station, looking to get my ticket punched by any old Shecock (remember, males are icky and will never, ever....EVER be looked at as anything but subhuman) But in the recent year, I find myself looking back at how in my last three encounters with beautiful Shemales, I no longer have any desire to be the penetrator, in fact my always careful selection process of which Shemale Devina will be with now centers exclusively around that person's personality as a willing and enthusiastic Top.

 

I've only just fully realized the change within and the wonderful results that they have brought, very recently. It truly is a milestone moment for me to go past the simple desire and fantasy of being a full bottom to Shecock, but to actually practice what I preached is a wonderful thing. My last encounter may have hammered home the point, if you will.

As I tried hard to suppress my gag reflex while being fed Shecock to the base, suddenly She pulled out and with a glorious moan blew Her Shecum all over my face, but didn't stop there. She straddled me and began to grind Her still throbing cock all over my face, as I willingly licked Her balls and cock as she smeared Her precious cum all over my chin, lips, face and hair. It was a truly magical moment, but She wasn't finished. Still hard, She spread my legs wide and took what was rightfully Hers; my asspussy. She fucked me so amazingly well that when She came a second time inside me, I was a quivering cum slut mess who couldn't stand for several moments after we were both done. I was fully spent. But more than that, I want to experience being taken by Shecock more and more. I love it!

 

I know now, that was the tipping point in purchasing my CB6000S chastity device. Not to use it as a chastity device exclusively but to help me train my asspussy to achieve orgasm through being fucked only. The early results have had promise but no big sissy O yet, but the fun is in continuing to try and experiment. My latest addition in my quest of the elusive sissygasm is the Bonbon Liberator. 

I just received mine today and finally I can ride a dildo, free to use my hands, and cowgirl while wearing my sexiest lingerie and allowing my mind to work it's way towards a Feminine orgasm. The best part is I finally have a purpose for the amazing pink lifelike dildo, Goddess Amber bestowed upon me. She used this regularly on Herself and the thought that I will be sharing and experiencing Her Female energy inside me will be truly wonderful! oxoxox

Devina

Devina's Domme of the Day Mar 29

 

Devina's TGirl of the Day Mar 29

 

Devina's Domme of the Day Mar 28

 

Devina's TGirl of the Day Mar 28

 

Rising From The Ashes - One Year Later

One year ago today, I started over. Google and some nefarious individual (I long suspect) got my 11 years worth of work nuked , with no explanation, and no option to even know what I supposedly did wrong. My old blog was nuked and I was heartbroken.

I almost walked away in anger.

But the reason my blog began in the first place was to have a permanent record of who and what I always was, and what I eventually became.  My sissy life needed a permanent record. Something I could never deny. So after finding some recoverable archives (not all yet), I started again. 

Like the first time, each post was a small victory. But this time it was different. I now had enemies. Google being one of them

On Google, I'm very much shadowbanned. My name, my blog, my images. I'm very discoverable on Yahoo, Bing, Duckduckgo, etc, but it's an uphill fight with one hand tied behind my back. Behind the scenes, google is peeling away site views weekly, and I can see the discrepancies in my stats.

  I remain determined not to be erased and to preserve my sissy life online. I'm grateful to everyone who has rediscovered my new home and I ask you all a favour to help spread the word of my new home here to rebuild faster.

Timeline wise I'm about 2.5 years into re-sharing my original blog posts, and I hope to keep making ground. Thank you for staying with me in my sissy journey

oxoxox

Devina
 

Devina's Domme of the Day Mar 27

 

Devina's TGirl of the Day Mar 27

 

A New Quest in My Journey - The Sissygasm

 Originally published Sept 5 2013

The wonderful thing about discovering and exploring one's inner Femininity is there is always another skill to learn. A sissy's life is all about learning and re-programming themselves into something better, something Feminine. To be an ultimate Gurly Girl, I needed to completely change my sexual  preference from pussy to Shecock. Instead of wanting pussy, I had to understand that I was now the pussy. 

I have accepted long ago that I no longer have a cock, but a sissy clit. That does not mean I am no longer a sexual being. If I want to be a true gurly girl and still be sexual then of course I have no choice but to fully embrace penetrative sex and make it as fully satisfying as possible.

 

I think I am now at a stage where my pussy is  super sensitive for cock, thanks to the ongoing submission of my asspussy to Shemale cock. It does indeed ache for cock to be inside it  and I associate climax with being penetrated. In fact this is the only way I want to and often cum now. My desire to no longer ejaculate and experience a true sissygasm while being fucked by my Mistress or by a Tgirl, is simply another step along the evolution towards Femininity. Soon I hope to forget what it is like to  climax with out something in my asspussy. I hope to learn to associate cumming with my asspussy gripping cock. 

It takes time  to learn how to cum from penetration alone, just like a real Woman does. To learn to have multiple orgasms one after the other as Her cock pulses inside you. The desires have become so real that I only want cock inside of me when I think of serving my Mistress or being taken by Shemale cock.

 Step one is to learn how to awaken my P spot, my new primary sexual organ located  deep inside my asspussy. Once awakened, and with practice, the feeling of cock rubbing over it will be enough to make me climax over and over. Just like a Girl, I hope to not ejaculate, but have toe curling orgasms which radiate all over my body making me pant and scream like a Girl!

A sissy gurl can indeed achieve strong, continuous full-body orgasms previously unattainable through conventional sexual techniques. These orgasms are so earth-shattering that they deserve a special nickname –  The Sissygasm. A sissygasm is entirely different from a traditional male orgasm – it is  characterized by pleasure starting from the lower abdomen that washes over the entire body putting you in a state of bliss! 

You not ejaculate during a sissygasm. This means there is no “recharging” or “time out” period needed. Multiple orgasms! Through  practice, a sissy gurl can have these orgasms, one after the other  during sessions lasting for an hour or more at a time.

 

Of course being a sissy and embracing everything that is Feminine, it was only inevitable that my thoughts would turn to how I could also covert my entire perception of sex and its enjoyment to a complete and unique Feminine mindset.

This means being penetrated and becoming very excited until the point of climax. This is a uniquely Feminine experience and one which I crave badly and want to experience. I think every sissy girl becomes curious about this and tends to experiment in different ways. Ultimately we all arrive  at different conclusions and have different levels of success.

Describing the actual experience of a female orgasm is a little bit like describing the taste of salt to someone who has never tasted salt, only much, much harder! Especially when describing what a Woman's experience of orgasm must be like. All I know is from my own experience that each orgasm achieved as a sissy is very different, very emotional and very delicious!

 There  are so many factors that come into play while trying to achieve the Female sensation of sexual climax. Some of these factors are: The level of your physical arousability.The level of your mental/emotional and physical excitement. The amount and quality of mental/emotional stimulation and the amount and quality of the physical stimulation you receive.

 

In researching this new course, the actual experience of what a Female orgasm must feel like can not  be adequately described in just physical terms of release, muscle tension, muscle spasms in the genital and anal regions, increased heart and breathing rate, and in some cases ejaculation! The intense feelings of pleasure and emotion are key components of the sissygasm experience-if not the defining element of a sexual climax. Your sissygasm cums mostly from the mind as this is one of the most powerful sexual organs! You have to be the cute girl, imagine your beautiful little asspussy is becoming wet, relish the penetration, yield to the fact you love to cum this way. It goes against everything you have learned as a  male. You have to be in the right complete girly, Feminine mindset. The following descriptions were revealed by Women as to their descriptions of what it feels like and what I hope to feel for myself:

"It is like that feeling when you ride a roller coaster all the way to the top and when you go over the top, that intense feeling you get in your stomach is what you feel, only it starts in your vagina and goes  all the way down to your toes and back up to your head",

"It  feels like a combination of having to pee followed by an intense need to scream out loud because of the pleasure and then a lot of little  explosions",

"Orgasm is  like someone is tickling me lightly with a feather... Softly and slowly at first... then going faster and faster...until its just right... then my whole body is tingling...then its like something just pops...like a warm water balloon bursts inside me and its all warm inside and I feel the warmth running down in trickles...like a small warm waterfall...and I  feel like I just climbed up that warm waterfall...and I'm left breathless...tingly and warm...like I just got out of a hot sauna.... hot... sticky, wet and breathless.",

"For  me, it feels like I'm being tickled around my waist and inner thighs, all over that area, then it builds up and I can feel it, it's like everything rushes to that area, then explodes, sending feel good  sensations down my legs to my toes, up my stomach and breasts, through my arms. It even feels good when it's over...because I feel like I just finished a workout but want more, so much more, and it's like I can feel those sensations fade which is amazing.",

"It  depends on the orgasm of course, sometimes I have the itty bitty little one that feels all right. Then I have the ones where my insides are on fire and it starts up my legs then goes into my groin, then it's all  just a big explosion of holy **** and I close my eyes tight and see many colors and then I start tingling behind my knees and twitching. Then I  remember to breathe and open my eyes. I look into my partner's eyes and  say "wow".

 

These shared experiences  demonstrate, each Female orgasm is very different. Some may come as  small intense ripples of pleasure while others can come as a massive wave of overwhelming pleasure. All I know is that it is way more intense then experienced as a male. I hope to go deep into my sissy soul to find incredible pleasure and powerful bonding emotions to my Mistress. While my experiences with Shemales will just be a pleasurable release of sexual tension. But each is special, and magical. The next step for me is to ensure I deny myself any chance of direct sissyclit stimulation during sexual submission and that means I've been shopping for the right sissy chastity device.

Being a  sissy is not just about what you wear and what you look like but a whole state of mind. This includes emotionally, sexually and your personality. My desire is for Devina to be truly submissive to the Female cock in all forms and further pulverize the remaining EME within by denying the biological processes with the OEM equipment, and transfer my emotional bonding and physical release as close to a real Woman as I can. I look forward to my training!